NEWS FLASH: CAT IS CONFIRMED PREGNANT

The Life of Mammals

Er, so I moved out from Esther's 2 Sundays ago - a shame because even though I slept on the floor and the house chain smoked, I could have regressed seamlessly into student living. A bit worrying I thought. Or perhaps its just my little brain yearning for advance education, a Masters perhaps...in media. Gosh. That would be obscene.

Quite a few catastrophes have taken place, involving a cat or cats rather. Deliberate pun there. Thank you. You're getting the shortened version however. The cat at the flat (the Polish one) has no name. They all call it various things and unsurprisingly it doesn't come to any one. Well this beloved cat is a 'flat' cat, in the sense its not allowed outside. A little cruel, I think so too.

Well I was leaving the flat one evening and the cat escaped. I panicked and ran out the door to catch the little shit and she ran up the next flight of stairs (outside the flatdoor). So I crept behind her and went in for the kill. Useless. She ran up another floor, where there were 3 guys leaving their flat to go out for some drinks. Not anymore they weren't. The cat ran into their flat and as I leaped up the stairs they asked if it was my cat. I went 'Yes, kind of. It's from my flat. Well its not my flat, but I'm living there.' They were like 'It's in our flat. What's it called?' I looked blankly...

The neighbours looked slightly perturbed as they were in a rush so I suggested picking the cat up later. After all its still in the flat, just not our flat. So I went and sipped a few delicious beers and like a parent who had just dropped off their child, I forgot about it.

Regrettably it materialised that there were 3 male cats in this fat. And what Attenborough would describe as the very life of mammals I would describe as really unfortunate. My little cat was thrown into some sort of cat sex party and its likely the house will be expecting a somewhat unexpected litter. On the plus side I can now say 'immaculate conception' in German.