So my friend Astrid, which I'm told sounds like 'Ashtray' with my English accent, came for drinks at The Weinary last night. An amazing little bar where you drink as much wine as you wish and on the way out you throw money in the pot. Yes, that’s right, no agreed amount, just what you think the night was worth. I can't help but think this wouldn't survive in London.
Anyway, Ashtray was clever because she waited for me to sink 3 glasses of wine and then suggested I joined her the following evening for a group lesson in Tango. Under the influence I agreed. The truth is...the truth doesn't matter actually.
So slightly conscious that I will be shit and make a complete spectacle of myself I watched a few videos on YouTube to get a feel for exactly what Tango dancing involves. This didn't boost my confidence in the slightest so I arranged to view some flats as an alternative. But just as I entertained that idea, Ashtray sent me a friendly SMS reminder to meet at 19:40 in Humboldhain, not far from where we live. Anyway, there was no getting out of it now and so I left the office after work and found my way there. There are two key moments from this evening which I will remember for some time yet. The first being a moment of sheer embarrassment on my part, the second also being a moment of extreme humiliation, on my part.
Even though I attended the workshop with Ashtray they confirmed from the outset that we would be swapping partners throughout, since this is a good way to learn from other people. They pointed at me and said that I would be an exception as it was my first lesson and this was week 4 already. Phew! That put my mind at rest. Well, never works out quite the way you expect, particularly in a foreign country. So about mid way through the class we swap and unfortunately there was an odd number of people which meant SOMEBODY would be left on their own. No guesses as to who. A little embarrassing so I just bowed my head whilst everybody else -I imagine- looked the other way to avoid the wave of awkwardness crashing through the room. I put my hands in my pocket to find something, anything I could fiddle with, but these pockets just weren’t deep enough. The music still hadn’t started at this point to signal the next dance so I edged to the side and walked to my bag to get my phone. I thought I’d take a photo to fill the time. Here it is….
But by the time I took the photo the lady instructor walked over and asked me to return as she wanted to teach me the ‘6 step’. Actually, she wanted to me to partner with a gentleman who had arrived late. No big deal, it’s just a dude. This gentleman, was clean shaven with a short and tidy haircut. He was probably just over 40 years, with a slight belly and a round face to suit it. He looked at me and as the instructor signaled with her eyes for us to commence he walked towards me. He then walked around me and shot off, leaving me with my hands in the air ready for the embrace. Oh my god. I couldn’t believe it. He had bailed in front of everyone. How rude! The instructor had a deprecating look on her face, to match mine, and rescued my rejected arms. What an absolute shambles. And what a nob
